When I Come

I let me go

Whatever I have been holding.

My lust comes out in a few strokes.

I am weak.

My seed lies wasted

Proof of modern man.

When the lust is driven to its climax

I come (crashing) out of me.

And when I do,

Guilt enters

To make sure I live

In hell.

I am tormented by me,

Allured and abused,

Driven mad and then pampered,

Loved and hated equally

In all my times.

I am divided

Not in two but millions.

Each face has its own story

And I am the book with a shining cover.

Inside I hold many secrets

Many trials of time,

Many torments.

You point a finger at me and laugh

As I cross the street,

But I know

You are no good.

You have the same secrets,

Your face is equally scarred,

Maybe more

But you hide it like I do.

I dare to come out

I dare to say

I am gay

I have watched porn

And enjoyed it.

I know your rules

But I choose not to follow them.

I look at men with gleaming eyes

Hoping to know them better.

Feel them, touch them, love them.

They invite me

When I am hard.

I am broken,

I walk on me,

I cut my legs,

I fall

To rise,

To fall again

And rise if I have strength.

I am not you.

I do not belong.

I am alone

And I know

You are too.

You do not belong

But you want to.

So you condemn me,

You abuse me.

You lust after me when alone

But you hate me in public.

You want me.

You want me in you.

Deep, penetrating, discovering you

Let you melt and give away

When you come

When I come.

And I want you

Igniting every cell of me,

Touching everything I have.

Deep in me

Where I do not exist,

In the darkness of my being

I want to feel you

And when I do

I want you to come

When I come.